Monday, April 6, 2009

Confession Cam

Did anyone catch Oprah today? Hilarious! It was all about motherhood... the myths, mysteries and mistakes of the mom world! It was fun to watch this show knowing that I am a part of this elite group of people... I'm a mom! The entire studio audience was made up of moms... all of the guests were moms... the only person that wasn't a mom in the whole place was Oprah herself... oh the irony of it all...

The moms on the show talked about a lot of different things... the things no one told them about pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood... the reasons why people don't tell others these things for fear of zeroing out population growth...how motherhood is the hardest job in the world... how much we love our children but how motherhood can be hard to love...

I enjoyed every aspect of the conversation but I think the thing I found most interesting was this idea of the "competitive mother!" How moms seem to have this intrinsic need to prove themselves as all-stars. They show their ugly to their kids and their husbands (no doubt!) but to their mommy friends... no way! Everything is fine! And actually it is better than fine is it SUPER! Moms that act like they've got it all together... they would never have admitted some of the things they admitted on TV today in their play group... gasp! Throughout the show they had different moms on the "confession camera" fessing up to some of their mommy hilarity and of course a blunder or two! 

What a refreshing take on motherhood... just when you think you are the only one... there are hundreds...thousands...millions of other moms out there just like you! Unfortunately, I didn't get the memo about being on the Oprah show but I figured I could put myself on my own "confession cam" and fess up to some of the things that make me a mom!

Forgive me blog world for I have...

Today...

Caden spit up bad enough to warrant a change of clothes and a bath for him. He soaked the sleeve of my shirt too, but I figured I would wait until after his bath to change. After his bath and getting him into new clothes I realized my sleeve was almost dry... no need for a new shirt!

Another spit-up landed on the ground (carpeted ground) and I thought for one LONG second about just rubbing it into the carpet with my bare foot and would have had a roll of paper towels not been within arm's reach. 

In a moment of desperation I stuck my chewed gum on my couch... I made sure it wasn't gooey before I did it, but it was falling apart in my mouth and there was no paper in site... and I had a sleeping baby on my lap... why would I want to jeopardize the silence to throw away some gum?

While participating in the 'greatest mommy workout ever' this afternoon I kept smelling this awful smell and I couldn't figure out what it was... I thought it must be Caden. Sniff of his butt... nope... not Caden. I walked over to the pack n play... it was the 4-diaper-high-pile in one of the storage compartments that was stinking... ug! They had piled up throughout the day and I hadn't made it a priority to throw them away. Oops!

I washed my hair and dried it. This is HUGE and will probably be one of two times that I will do this between now and Sunday. It is usually a twice a week event! In fact the other day my friend Gina said, "did you get your hair done... your highlights look great!" NOPE... you just caught me on a freshly washed hair day... ha! 

I was disgusted by the dog hair in my laundry room and some trash that fell overboard so I swept it into a pile. Caden was on his activity mat and had moved from fussy into all out crying. When Justin got home today the pile was still on the floor...scattered...

I cried when Oprah gave the mommies in the audience their very own and very tiny confession camera! That's right... you give them those cameras... they deserve it! Tears... happy... smile!

In days past...

I have used my finger on numerous occasions to inspect Caden's poop. He's had some bloody stools due to a milk allergy and so I have to literally comb through his stool to be sure we are making progress in the right direction.

I say "finish the first breast first" to myself at least six times a day. And email myself as to which boob to start on for the next feeding. 

If Caden falls asleep in the car I take an extra long way home to get a few extra minutes!

My laundry consists of underwear, sports bras, running shorts and t-shirts. If I wear 'real' clothes it is usually for a limited time and thus do not need to be laundered.

I have dreams about Gilmore Girls... like they are my friends and I live in their world. This is probably because for 45 minutes every day while Caden sleeps on my lap I AM in their world... they are my friends! 

I congratulate myself on small accomplishments throughout the day. I do this by saying things like... "Caden, mommy got all of the laundry done today!" or " Caden, can you believe mommy has clean hair... isn't it great?" What I mean is..."Katie... you are the shiznit!" and "Dang, washed and dried hair is HOT!"

I say a prayer when I hear Caden getting fussy through the monitor in the middle of the night. Please help him go back to sleep!

I should buy stock in breast pads... 

Alright... there you have it... confession cam off!

Children are amorous but motherhood is almost never glamorous! :)

5 comments:

the G Rowes said...

Loved reading your confessions.. too funny and all so true! :-)

Abby said...

This cracks me up! And, I am so glad that you shared this, because I went and immediately watched Oprah from yesterday. Loved it! We need to get our little one's together for a play date sometime!

Nicki W. said...

so glad i found your blog! this is so so so funny! oh man. i always try to be super honest with all my friends about my mommyhood--it's a tough job!

ok, my hubs made my books from www.blurb.com i know he was on the phone and emailing someone there A LOT. i loved the finished product. i know though, that if you are super scrapbooker (which i am not) it may be harder to please you. i like to have things done for me--i guess you could say i am a hands off person! ha! anyway, not sure of the price, but i think they are a little pricey--he never disclosed the cost.

hope you do it!!!!

Stephanie said...

i love my funny friend! and i love that we don't have to pretend we have it "all together" with one another- we both know how real life gets!

love you,
steph

Jennifer said...

hey Katie! I saw yesterdays Oprah (i see every oprah i guess!) I thought it was super funny. when they showed that one mom that had the blog that turned into a 45k business i thought of you! i thought...katie could do that, her blog is awesome! lol...hope all is well. happy easter!

jen woods