Milkshake Meltdown

Have you ever cried over spilt milk? No use, right? That is what your mom probably always told you. But what about a milkshake? Have you ever cried over a milkshake? You haven't? Well, then you obviously have not been pregnant. I think most pregnant women have had a similar moment. It may not have been a milkshake but a parking spot, a missing clothing item, or a dirty house. A moment where rational thought goes out the window and an overwhelming desire for something very specific takes over all thought, emotion and action. Often these moments are met with ultimate bliss, allowing you to satisfy your deepest yearnings, but there are still times when a need is met with utter disappointment... and this is where I begin my story. 

A few Sunday's ago now, with our coupons, list, and earth-friendly grocery bags in tow, Justin and I decided to stop by America's Favorite Drive-In for a little refreshment. I had been craving a chocolate milkshake all day! I had just taken my 3 hour glucose tolerance test the Friday before, and not sure what the results would be I decided I needed one last sweet fix just in case I was put on restriction... a chocolate milkshake would be the perfect "last treat." Justin and I, being budget conscious these days, decided that we deserved a splurge and chose a Sonic milkshake which runs a little over $2 for a small vs. a Burger King milkshake which are almost as yummy and half the price. What a perfect way to cap-off the week... a Sonic shake!

We decide on this particular night to go through the "drive-thru" rather than pull into one of the spots. My mouth is watering, I can see other tasty treats being cheerfully skated out to the customers waiting patiently in their cars. Only a few more minutes and I would be putting my straw into a savory cup of chocolaty delight.

"Welcome to Sonic, what can I get for you this evening," a young woman energetically announces. 

"I need two small chocolate milkshakes please ma'am," Justin politely requests.

"Two chocolate milkshakes. That will be $4.08, please drive forward."

Drive forward, drive forward! I can feel that cold Styrofoam cup touching my hands. I can see the ice that forms on the outside of the straw... How much longer must I wait?? Count backwards from 10...10...9...8..."Here she comes Justin, roll down the window!"

"Two chocolate milkshakes," the teenage, emo-wanna-be, carhop who wears a tie with her uniform and is allergic to energy and enthusiasm says. 

"Here's four (4) and here's 10," Justin clarifies.

Up from her lip ring and dark purple eyes, the carhop huffs, "Do you want your two pennies?"

"No that's okay," Justin offers. Maybe it can be a good start to some industrial strength make-up remover when she decides to wash her face, I think.

Finally, she hands us the two milkshakes, our straw next and then jingles back into the Sonic Shack. See ya later sister!

I rip open my straw, shredding just a small piece at first, then the rest. Come on you big, red tasty drinking instrument, cooperate! Paper is gone, now on the floor. I make entry... notice some resistance, but push on... entry complete! I put the straw to my lips and prepare my cheeks for what inevitably is always the hardest part of enjoying any milkshake, the first suck. 

I'm sucking, my cheeks are inverted like a fish, still sucking... I turn to Justin, looking more fish-like than the last time I looked over at him. I start to panic...

HOUSTON WE HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM!

I rip open my lid to find a tiny amount of chocolate swirled not so delicately into a NOT SO MILKY cup of NOT SO SOFT-SERVE! This is not a milkshake!!! This is a ice-cake! I can't drink this with a straw and I don't have a spoon... we're pulling out of the parking lot, and turning left onto a busy street, we can't turn around now!

Tears... lots of them. Sadness, extreme sadness. Then anger...that ignorant, teenage, black-eyed, punk of a carhop! No one takes pride in their work anymore... it is just a milkshake... how are they going to ever succeed? This is the problem with America, Justin. 

Still crying...

Justin panicked does his best to offer a solution..."How about a Frosty from Wendy's, it's on our way?!"

"I DON'T WANT WENDY'S, I WANTED A MILKSHAKE!" 

Justin too, was perturbed by Sonic's futile attempt at making a chocolate milkshake. What we spent on milkshakes is what we saved at the store using our coupons... $4! So much for breaking even! 

We pull into our spot at HEB, I'm still in tears. I grabbed both of our milkshakes and tromped up the driveway into the store's entry, found the biggest trash-can and slammed the two cups into the black hole of filth and rot with all of my might! VICTORY! I had conquered the milkshakes!

But as for the question of my sanity... there was work left to be done.

And that my friends concludes the story of the 'Milkshake Meltdown.' Until next time... Always choose Burger King!

Happy Tuesday!