Thursday, August 12, 2010

I'd Marry Them If I Could...

Yes, that's right... you two fine pieces of cleaning specimen, I'd marry you BOTH if I could. Perhaps I should move to Utah and join a polygamist group so that I can. It might be worth it! If I could take Caden of course... and Justin too. Yes, I do believe I'd marry you... BOTH!

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Mop how I love thee so! You first delighted me with your magic eraser splendor in college when I was forced to clean a year's worth of grime off of every surface in my apartment each May. You were daring and dashing, no job or stain or scuff was EVER too much for you. I carried you on into my marriage. I've used you countless times, until you wither so delicately in my hands. Recently, I've used you throughout my house to de-kid and de-dog our tile floors and you have proven once again to be faithful to the dirt and grime but not quite so to my aching back and ailing knees... oh how I longed for you in mop form! To stand and scrub the floors with your power... twas the dream!!

And you, you sweet, bald man...the King of Clean, you did it! You fulfilled all of my hopes and dreams last week when walking down the cleaning isle at HEB I saw you... it was love at first sight (again!). I held you in my arms, hugged you and placed you gently atop my basket, yearning for the moment when I would dip you in water, squeeze you tenderly and dance you gracefully across my floors!! What joy, what bliss!!

And you... you big group of hard workin', scrubbin' bubbles! Y'all are just too much! Had I known of your tenacity I would have excepted a date with you MUCH sooner. But alas, my fair friends and fellow mommies were holding out their one true love in hopes of keeping you all to themselves, but after one look at your bright green can and the determination in your sweet but sincere scrubbin' bubble face I knew I had to take the chance! For love...

And as luck would have it I. am. in. LOVE. with. you, my scrubbin' bubbles... all of you! You do all the work so I don't have to... it is true, it really is. You are bubbles of your word and you do such a fine job! I am so thankful for your robust passion for the clean, spic and span. You had me at first scrub!

Shiny and new, everything looks so beautiful. From the kitchen sink to my toothbrush holder... you have surpassed greatness! If I did have one thing to offer in way of constructive criticism (you forget that I am a woman) I would dare say that your smell has room for improvement. Of course, when I think it through I realize that it's hard to smell like anything but burnt rubber when you are working your little scrubbers to the nubs! Forget I said anything at all dear bubbles, your disdainful smell can never change the way I feel about the overall satisfaction and pleasure you give me when all of your work is said and done.

OH Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Mop and Dearest Scrubbin' Bubbles, THANK YOU for your dutiful service to me this week. I pray that you may bless the homes of those who read this blog and that they too, will feel the overwhelming compulsion to write their own love letters to you, for you both are worthy of praise!

All my love,
A sincerely happy housewife


KK said...

oh dear.....there are no words! But I love you!

CaseyWiegand said...

always makes me smile to read your blog, love u!