My Little Squirmy Worm

I have new pictures of my little squirmy worm...so if you must, skip down and adore my beautiful little boy, but promise to come back up and read the post...it is a good one!

Justin and I had a follow-up ultrasound last week to check up on Caden's brain. For those of you who didn't know, Dr. Fernandez told me at my last appointment that Caden needed some follow-up testing with a specialist to investigate a cyst they saw in his brain. Dr. Fernandez, in his truest form, eased my fears by telling me that this is a very common occurance, in fact, 25% of NORMAL pregnancies involve this type of cyst. Not exactly what you want to hear when you go to the doctor... you are hoping for..."You're son is perfect in every way."

Perfect is such a strong word though, isn't it? We all strive after it, but within ourselves perfection can never be found. So taking this imperfection in stride, Justin and I immediately sought counsel from the only one who has ever achieved perfection and we leaned on His promises knowing that He is a God who is faithful.

Oddly enough this pregnancy has taught me more about faith than any other experience I've had to date. I had a pivotal moment in my faith-walk about five weeks ago sitting in church. Our pastor was teaching about sin and the consequences of sin. Before that moment it had never occurred to me that my worry and anxiety about pregnancy were sin. It was the one thing that was blocking me from pursuing a full relationship with God. I was consumed by what the world said about pregnancy, about my health, and what I should or should not be feeling as an expectant mother. I googled incessantly, I read blog after blog, message board after message board, finding ever horror story I could find. I was addicted to information and all the wrong kinds. So that day, I sat there and realized that this, my information addition, was just as bad as any other addition and it had to stop. Monday morning I signed on my computer and unsubscribed from EVERY pregnancy newsletter, promotional ad, listserv, etc. that I was on. I made an absolute commitment to avoid any pregnancy-related information. If my doctor didn't say it and it wasn't it my ONE pregnancy book then it wasn't worth knowing.

Today, I have been sober for over 5 weeks. I know this all might seem so silly when you read this... and maybe even a little bit crazy, but I praise God for it every day. Thank you for making me see what I wasn't seeing! Thank you for helping me stay sober!

Of course, God knew what He was doing and was preparing me for that next doctor's appointment when I would learn about Caden's cyst. I want you all to know that there were no Google searches, there was no research, there was nothing on my end! I immediately sought God's provision. I went straight to the word, claiming the only truth I knew! Justin and I prayed and believed specifically for Caden's cyst. And a few weeks later...

Caden's cyst is GONE! Disappeared! God is good!

I feel so blessed to have been able to go on this faith-journey with God. First, he showed me my sin and helped me take drastic steps to run away from it, and then He provided me with the perfect opportunity to practice the fullest faith I have ever known.

This blog entry doesn't come close to expressing the joy and peace I have found in Him, but I hope that it will provide an encouragement to those of you who like me, have struggled to let go of your worries and find peace in something MUCH bigger than any of one of them! It is not an easy journey, but it all starts with removing the things from your life that make you worry... what are you addicted to?

Here are just a FEW of the truths I have found to help me along my journey...

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have recieved it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

"In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which YOU CAN extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." Ephesians 6:16 (I love this entire passage about the Full Armor of God Eph 6:10-20)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 4:6-7

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick?He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and annoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up." James 3: 13-15

Thanks for letting me share these things with all of you... I only hope they bring someone else the same hope and peace!

AND NOW FOR THE GOOD STUFF...

Is he not the cutest little guy you've ever seen? Okay well he is to me! :) He was being such a squirmy worm during the ultrasound...he was actually hitting the ultrasound probe and the technician kept laughing because she felt him bopping her hand! Hehe... I was kind of proud, he was just protecting his momma!
Here is a great profile shot. He is looking less ape-ish don't you think? The doctor said he clearly has my nose... we'll just have to wait and see. Katie or Justin? Who will Caden look like? Only God knows!

Have a great weekend! We'll be hunkering down in Austin hoping that Ike brings rain but leaves those strong winds somewhere out in the water. Our thoughts and prayers are with those of you in his path.